


Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You

by Count_B, Shakespeares_Girl



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Birthday Party, Christmas, Community: cottoncandy_bingo, Epistolary, Love Letters, M/M, Surprise Party, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-29
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Count_B/pseuds/Count_B, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shakespeares_Girl/pseuds/Shakespeares_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're in love, you leave little notes everywhere, and you just can't stop texting each other, and eventually, those things pile up and tell a story all their own.  (Story told in love notes and text messages, and a tweet or two.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few months ago (or maybe more than that) my darling Count_B and I started writing each other emails as if we'd discovered love notes left lying around, written by Brendon and Spencer. We'd switch back and forth, and sometimes we'd jump forward in time with no warning, and last year around Christmas (apparently it's been much longer than a few months!) we wrapped it up and stopped writing. We both really loved the outcome, though, so I decided to clean it up and she has graciously allowed me to post and count this for Cotton Candy Bingo.

**(Handwritten sticky notes found taped to fridge)**  
  
Spence!  
You were totally right, cheez curls are _amazing_. But not as Amazing as yooooooooou.  
<3 Bden  
  
Also, I totally want to lick you later. remind me in case I forget.  
B  
<3<3<3

\--------------------------------------------

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Amazing enough I cracked your code where amazing means gone. Picking up more cheez curls, need anything else? <3

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon  
**Do they have those orange slices? The jelly 1s w/ the sugar? And the purple Mt dew?

**Text from Smith, Spencer**

No purple Mt. Dew :( is blue ok or should I try the other grocery store?

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

The blue tastes like liquified gummi bears. Get that one.  
  
(5 minutes later)

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon  
** You're my favorite Spencer Smith! Fay-vor-it!

**Text from Smith, Spencer**

:) I’m my favorite Spencer Smith too. Any particular reason? ;)

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Beecause u buy me liquid gummi bears an dont complain. And b-cuz this is the best weed I hav ever found undr ur mattress :)

\--------------------------------------------

**(found scribbled on notebook paper, lying on the ground near a wastebasket)**  
  
REMEMBER--Spencer is awesome. You should totally tell him this. Instead of writing crappy love poems you can't even revise to turn into lyrics (see below) -------- >  
  
 _i miss the way you fit in my arms_  
even if my arms haven't felt you yet  
do your lips taste like liquid candy?  


**chocolate chips**  
crayons  
baking soda  
noodles--thin ones, not the crunchy kind  
cheez curls

  
  
  
  
fuck, that doesn't rhyme. that's not even a haiku.

**Found on the bathroom mirror written in the fog:**

<3

Thinking of you

(thinking of me)

\--------------------------------------------

**(Written in purple gel pen on Brendon's arm)**  
  
DON'T TELL SPENCER ABOUT THE SURPRISE PARTY!!!!  
  
 **(Written underneath, in green)**  
  
AND DON'T WRITE SECRETS ON YOUR SKIN!!!!

**(Written in sharpie on Brendon's palm)**

REMEMBER CHEEZ CURLS--

*OR DEATH*

**(taped to the mirror in Spencer's car)**  
  
<3 Have a nice day, Spencer Smith. (and please try to act surprised at tonight's party?)  
  
 **(on the back of the note)**  
  
DO NOT FORGET TO BAKE MUFFINS FOR THE SURPRISE PARTY!!!!!  
  
DO NOT LOSE THIS NOTE! ALSO, CHEEZ CURLS. DON'T LOSE THOSE EITHER!

**(in Spencer's List Master app)**

Buy muffins

Buy cheez curls

Buy mountain dew - purple or blue, no red ever

Get Brendon a notebook so he quits giving me the notes he makes for himself

???

NAP

Walk the dogs

Coffee?

**(On the back of a receipt for a pair of shoes, found tucked into the brim of Brendon's favorite fedora)**  
  
Hey, so, you should probably buy Spencer a birthday present, since you're throwing a surprise party and all.

  
**(in the white space of a coupon circular's front page, left on the kitchen counter)**  
  
Don't forget! Muffins and presents! Buy and bake!, well, buy the present and bake the muffins, not bake the present and buy the muffins. I mean, I could buy muffins but better to bake them, not buy them, because then they're fresh and for sure vegetarian, and you don't want to bake presents because that could be messy and bad for your health, so yeah, bake the muffins-- _(cut off because there's no more space.)_

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

CRISIS EMERGENCY! OUT OF DEODORANT! Borrowed yours<3 I smell sexy

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Spare deodorant on top shelf of the linen closet by the extra soap and toothbrushes.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

The dogs miss you. Or I'm projecting and really I miss you. Maybe both? <3Can I come home or will that ruin the surprise?

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Hey, Spencer. This is Ryan. Brendon is trying to bake, so I confiscated his phone. Don't come back yet. Maybe not ever. Definitely not until 6.

  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

And hey! I told him not to tell you! And he says he misses you too.

**Text from Smith, Spencer**

Brendon's less stealthy than his dog. Not his fault. 

**Text from Ross, Ryan  
** Yeah, you know what? Easier this way. Also? Better act fucking surprised.

  
  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

OMG, Ryan's being a bitch and I miiiissss u and i cannot bake. and forgot 2 buy ur present. sadface. :(

**Text from BFFFFFF  
** Quit being a bitch and help him clean the kitchen, I bought muffins. Even the gross ones you like. Or else I'll drop yours when I'm surprised at the party.  
  
 **Text from Smith, Spencer**  
Bren, you know I don't need a present. If you really feel bad you can help on laundry day... I'll be home soon, babe.

**Text from Ross, Ryan  
** You're a bitch, bitch. And don't fucking drop my muffins.

  
  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Yay! Can't wait 2 c u. n ur totally still getting a present. just, not 2day.

**Text from BFFFFFF:  
** Take his phone again until he's less excited and I can promise your muffins are safe. This is a hostage situation.

\--------------------------------------------

**Found written inside the sleeve around a soy latte:**

You're the best Brendon a guy could ask for. <3

\--------------------------------------------

**(Found doodled on the back cover of a notebook)**  
  
 _Mr and Mr Spencer Smith_  
  
Mr. and Mr. Smith -------- > only not with the fighting and destroying things. Or the Brangelina. We are definitely not Brangelina. Kids are nice and all but one or two is enough.  
  
(inside a heart) _Spencer James Smith_  
  
Brendon Smith-Urie  <3

\--------------------------------------------

**(Found written on a notebook tucked under Brendon's pillow)  
** Brendon's Notebook of Secrets and Awesome and Thoughts About How Great Spencer Is <3  
  
 **(found next to the bed)**

<3Morning, babe. I went for coffee, be back soon. DON'T GET UP, THERE WILL BE BREAKFAST IN BED.

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Ur byond awesome, n u have to wak me up if im' sleep whn ur hom god, coffee now! love u.

\--------------------------------------------

**(stickynote attached to Brendon's iPhone)**

Check out new playlist:

Songs That Remind Me Of Ridiculous Music Prodigies Who Happen To Share My Bed

You know you can come when I visit my parents

I'll miss you

**(Found taped to the bathroom mirror)**  
  
10 Things I Love About Spencer James Smith  
by Brendon Urie  
  
1\. He is the BEST DRUMMER EVER.  
  
2\. He brings me breakfast in bed.  
  
3\. He is amazing.  
  
4\. He is  
  
did I remember to let the dog out?  
He has a great family who seem to like me for some reason.  
  
5\. He does not mind when I siiiiiiiing, even when he is trying to sleep  
  
6\. banana nut muffins?  
syrup  
avacado  
milk  
peanut butter

**(taped underneath the note on the bathroom mirror)  
** Spencer Smith, you are my favorite, and I can't tell you my 10 fave things because I can't pick just ten, and also Bogart needs to go out love you bye!

**(taped to the handle of the fridge)**

I love you too, don't forget to take the trash bins to the curb

\--------------------------------------------

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Y do i have 2 do ths again? Interviews suk.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:  
** Because interviews aren't the only think that suck ;)

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Why Mr. Smith, r u trying 2 seduce me?!

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Did your mother warn you about boys like me?

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

She would hve if she'd known it ws n issue. She would hav told me all about ur wicked ways.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:  
** Eli's Coming is actually a prophecy about me - Spencer is just not a very catchy name for a song.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:  
** It got truncated a little, since you're not a girl but that happens, it was the 60s

  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Why, Mr Smith! ~flutters eyelashes winningly~

**Text from Smith, Spencer:  
** You're far more winning when you're not trying, you dork. :)

  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Uuuuuuuu luv meeeeeeeee!

brendonboydurie: @thespencersmith would sooooo write me a love song.

TheSpencerSmith: @brendonboydurie An album of them, but an album of drums and nothing else is not very romantic

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Track one: This Must Be Love Or Why Else Would I Wash Your Dirty Underwear

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Track two: I Want to Bite Off Your Lips So I Can Keep Them With Me Forever (Pretend That's Not Creepy)

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Dude. *DUDE* i m in a intervw!!!! ( <3 )

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

I'm not forcing you to be an asshole who checks his texts during an interview. They don't disappear after 10 seconds

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

U kno how th vibrator makes me jump!!!!

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Wait, not wht i ment !!!

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

HAHAHA Too late I'm gonna quote you on that. Pete will make tshirts.

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

Oh, fuck u. >:(  
  
**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Daily, nightly, and ever so rightly.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

Track three: Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon**

U kno, Pete would prbbly tottly publish these. Or, like, steal th titles.

**Text from Smith, Spencer:**

I'm not writing him love songs, just you

\--------------------------------------------

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Can we get a crzy rockstar mansion wth a waterfall and beach inside???

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Are you deeeeeeead??????

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Immmm worriedd do you wnt me to get wrinkles 

**Text from Smith, Spencer  
** Not dead. Ignoring you because I didn't feel your rockstar mansion request should be dignified with a response.  
  
 **Text from Smith, Spencer**  
Also, I'm pretty sure the definition of "beach" means you can't have one inside.

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

I thnk fame is turning you MEAN

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

YIUR SUPOSED TO HUMIR ME

**Text from Smith, Spencer  
** Oh, all right. We can get a mansion. : *  
  
 **Text from Smith, Spencer**  
But I'm serious about that beach thing. It's totally impractical. You'll track sand into bed and all over the house and complain about it to me.

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

I LUUUUV YOU

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Wht if we get a shed or pool house and mke tht into a beach house so its contained???

**Text from Smith, Spencer  
**....you've already got a house picked out, don't you?

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Only if yo lk it but I PROMISS YULL LOVE IT!!!!!!'

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

Only other pln is bcum freinds w/Brisn Wilson

**Text from Smith, Spencer  
** Brisn Wilson will just have to miss out. Text me the address, I'll see if I can swing by on my way home.  
  
 **Text from Smith, Spencer**

Also, bcum? I'll show you bcum . . .

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

I'll bcum on ur face

  
**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

house is better on th inside but they're havng an open house on sundayyyyy and I already pcked the vest I'm gunna ware

\--------------------------------------------

**On a post-it on the bedroom door:**

Why is my work-out playlist just songs like The Final Countdown & Eye of the Tiger?

**On a second post-it just below the first:**

WHEN DID MY TWITTER AVATAR BECOME A ANIMATED GIF MONTAGE OF ME WORKING OUT?!??!!!  
  
**On a post-it on the treadmill:  
** Because you are RISING UP, BACK ON THE STREET. DID YOUR TIME, TOOK YOUR CHANCES, WENT THE DISTANCE NOW YOU'RE BACK ON YOUR FEET, JUST A MAN AND HIS WILL TO SURVIVE!

\--------------------------------------------

**On the notepad next to the alarm clock on Spencer's side of the bed:**

Brendon is allergic to Christmas - buy fuckton of industrial strength Claratin and eyedrops

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

BUTTTTT RL TREES ARE BETTER. DNT U HV A SOUL?! DIDNT U SEE CHARLIEBROWN CHRISTMAS?

**Text from Sexypants, Mr. Brendon:**

I DNT RLY NEED 2 BRTH

**On a post-it by the front door:**

Buy more tissues

**Added in another hand:**

THE KIND WITH LOTION

**On a note tucked under Brendon's pillow Christmas morning:  
** _I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need . . .  
  
_ **On a note in the bathroom:  
** _I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas Tree . . ._  
  
 **On a box under the tree:**  
Bren ~ open this one first! ~Spencer  
  
PS--All I want for Christmas is _you_.


End file.
